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Leverage expectations on your wedding day; take the Zilla out of Bridezilla.

So here goes...I've read the blogs, sat and ate virtual popcorn while mindlessly reading FB/wedding wire/wedding bee posts. There are countless movies dedicated to the phenomenon, (I blame you too, Pinterest)...but this Bridezilla thing? Yeah, it’s got to go. Our society went from having the simple manageable weddings, where the entire family pitched in for "hall" reception to, “I need to have the biggest, most extravagant day the world has ever seen”. There’s WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE on couples to have the PERFECT wedding. While there are so many resources out there, it’s overwhelming. I know because I’ve planned two weddings and helped plan countless others! But can I just remind you of something? Since when did anything (much less everything) ever go perfectly? What IS perfect? I recently shot a wedding that ended with the reception in a 2-car garage because the perfectly planned backyard reception got rained out! While it wasn’t ideal, or even in the original plan, I couldn’t help but notice that the Bride and Groom took it all in stride. You know what? I honestly think it makes for a funny story they can tell their kids one day. Not a single person attended actually seemed to care that plans had changed. By contrast, there was the bride who sobbed uncontrollably because her dream ceremony outdoors was ruined by rain. Her ceremony had to be moved inside. Bless her heart, she sobbed all morning; her eyes red and puffy for hour. I could have cried FOR her! In fairness SHE was NOT a bridezilla, (she never yelled or took her frustrations out on anyone), but none-the-less she was just a heartbroken bride because she clenched the vision of her perfect day (hey, nothing wrong with wanting it!) The bride never gave it a second thought that it might rain on her special day. Her wedding made me realize that, as a wedding photographer, I can help brides get through the stress of the day (and avoid the pitfalls of disappointment) by helping to leverage expectations. Oh and one day I’ll blog about the first wedding I ever did - how I arrived to find that my camera wouldn’t work. Whew, it was stressful - but I didn't panic and we got through it unscathed because I remained calm.

But back to the bridezillas thing. The thought or idea that someone is going to lose their shit over the shade of ribbon on a bouquet just..blows my mind. It's time to stop it with all that nonsense! If you are curled up in a corner at 1am the night before your wedding stressing about things like seating charts and scented sachet favors - It’s time to let it go (cue Elsa!) Don't fall into the pitfall of Pinterest, but if you do - plan for TIME to get it all done. The notion that you HAVE to control every detail is a huge task and if that's you, it's OK too, but you need twice as much time as you think you do! If I'm being completely honest, I think every bride should hire a wedding coordinator. If it's not in the budget consider hiring one the day of, or even ask an acquaintance who is organized. Don't rope your closest friends or family to help with the day of coordinating if you can help it. Those folks are by your side but they deserve to enjoy your special day too! Though I feel a coordinator can be your best chance at having a smooth day, a wedding can still go seamlessly in the absence of one with proper planning. It simply goes back to leveraging expectations from the start (and time!) At the end of the day, couples need to plan their wedding with the realistic expectations. I hope that part of my role as a wedding photographer is to also help every couples get through their day unhitched (err, but by getting hitched). Together we will work to establish a realistic timeline, and go over the details you can be assured to lessen that stress.

Ultimately all you need is your spouse to be, and an officiant. Hey, but a stellar photographer won’t hurt *wink wink*! Your day is going to be tough, and things might not be perfect like you imagined...but you know what else is tough and also not perfect like you imagined? Marriage.

Want to peek at my wedding details? I planned it all, and spent a bit of time on all the DIY touches. Oh and I realize that irony of sharing my Pinterest board seems a bit hypocritical, but just know that I planned carefully, didn't fall into the trap of being a bridezilla and had fun with the planning! Whatever wasn't done in the days leading up to the big day - got dropped!!! My desire to make my wedding beautiful by doing the touches myself stemmed from my thrify nature to save money! Oh and by not stressing, I got to enjoy my day; Mission Accomplished! Click here to visit the board!

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